Hello all! The past few days have been quite busy.. I don't even know where to start. I barted over to Berkeley on Wednesday to do a presentation and speak to professors but ended up skipping all but one of my class. Instead, I spoke to a counselor at the Tang Center(should've gone to class) and prayed with the most amazing community ever.
We had another appointment with Dr. Knopf Thursday. Alimta will be replaced with taxotere as the first line, a bone strengthening drug will be added for mommy's bone mets, and there are some other options if our first line is ineffective. I'm a little discouraged by the probability of effectiveness for our first line- 33% chance of shrinking tumors and 77% of keeping them stable- but relieved that there are other drugs available, including a clinical trial called IGF-1. One problem I have is that after the doctor explains something to me, I immediately research that treatment and find information that makes me question the doctor's decision. I need to learn to trust the doctor, but I want to make sure that my mom receives the best treatment possible.
Mama Tam's coughing is getting worse and there's not much we can do to relieve her pain. It's really easy for us to lose hope when we hear unfavorable statistics and when we see my mommy's health deteriorating. With each doctor's visit, I feel myself falling further into sadness and hopelessness, which is why I NEED to be in Berkeley. I NEED to be reminded of God's perfect love, I NEED to be pumped full of hope and encouragement. I NEED you guys so much. YOU(and Jesus) are good for my soul.
Team Tam, I am continually inspired by your faith!
Prayers for this week?
-There are other families going through similar situations, so please pray for them.
-Mommy found some new friends at church. Pray that she will find good community, as wonderful as mine!
-Physical health- mommy's cough is more severe and her breathing more labored. The chemo doesn't seem to be working...
-Plans for next year- I don't know if I should stay in school.
-Peace and Hope- I'm so tired and bitter sometimes, terrible things to be when you're a caregiver.